Mississippi Barges

Looky what I did. Made a movie.

These barges are ubiquitous on the river. David used his new camera and found two.

Just showing off my mad bloggin' skillz.

Marj's Chocolate Sauce

So, I'm on my way to check out at the grocery store and was suckered by marketing. You know what I'm talking 'bout. The display in the aisle, put there to tempt you to make an impulse buy. So I said to myself "alrighty then", and picked up a package of chocolate swiss roll cake. Get it home and decide it's crying out for ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Waaay back in the deep recesses of my mind I remember the chocolate sauce Aunt Marj used to make. So I dug out my very old recipe box and, after some searching, found the recipe. On a card in Marj's own hand. What a treat.

And to top off the whole trip down memory lane, I was stirring it with mom's old wooden spoon. Trippy enough to snap a photo and share.

Please ignore the dirty old stove and feast your eyes on that sauce. Buttery, creamy, chocolaty deliciousness.

Does This Man Belong To You??

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women; she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Madame,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's cart when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMT's were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.'

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12 .October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14 .October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but certainly not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!!!". One of the clerks passed out.

Posted without comment, except...laugh, snort, chortle..cough..ahem.

Christmas: Veni, Vedi, Vici

I came, I saw, I conquered.

This Christmas was all about gettin' 'er done. No pictures. No Todd.

Here's how it went down.

Todd was home for Thanksgiving. He and Cami put up our modest outdoor lights. Christmas chores on schedule. One week later our apartment was awash in 2 inches of water from a broken pipe in the ceiling. Middle of the night. All carpets pulled up. All furniture moved. Lived with concrete floors and wet walls and ceilings for a week while everything dried. (No pictures of that, either. Who knows where the hell the camera was.) Wet boxes from closets on the porch. Furniture in middle of rooms. We still had to work, chart prep and phone calls. What Christmas shopping I had done was in a laundry basket---somewhere.

What followed was 3 weeks of--oh how can I put this--uh-disorganization. I shan't bore you with all the details, as most everyone has lived in a construction zone at some time or another. My Christmas spirit was just a little wet.

Then the best laid plans again got pooped on when circumstances changed and Todd couldn't make it home for Christmas. Frantic wrapping and mailing of packages ensued.

Oh, and Cami was down with H1N1 flu.

Now, none of this was what I expected for our Christmas season. Some bad Christmas elf had decided to mess with us, but we weren't about to submit. As Cami and I strolled (very slowly, as she was still sickish) the isles of Walmart, we decided to summon our Norwegian-ness to work hard and make it happen.

So, Christmas came to our house. The tree was finally up, the presents bought and wrapped, cookies made, Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner were as usual. It was just the three of us, but, tradition prevailed.

(The phone rang late Christmas Eve. Caller ID said it was Todd. But what we heard was strains of Silent Night. He called and left his phone on during the last few minutes of Christmas Eve church service. It was lovely. So we did share some of Christmas with him.)

I figure if Mary could travel to Bethlehem on a donkey and have her child in a manger, I could do Christmas with a little inconvenience.

Merry Christmas.

Giving Thanks

Wait, wait, wait! It's not Christmas yet. So I'm taking time to pause and be grateful for Thanksgiving.

It’s easy to remember to be grateful for big and obvious things. But it is the humble, ordinary things – the things we take for granted, that give us mobility, opportunity, self-sufficiency, expression – we rarely think to be grateful for.

Real joy and contentment in life is not possible – cannot be possible – without real gratitude. Unless you really KNOW what you have, how can you appreciate it, and if you do not appreciate your life how can you be joyful?

This is the best of what I have. Cami lives near. Todd lives away. I had them both for Thanksgiving weekend. Really, I'm joyful just looking at them.

Todd shows Cami his Pharmacology notes. Anything involving numbers makes her eyes cross.

The carver and the watcher (and taster).

Our family may be small, but our Thanksgiving is mighty. A 20 pound turkey. Loads of mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, our traditional beans and corn pudding. Cake, pies. (Hey, we like leftovers.) We don't do small.
Except the kitchen. It is small. A "one butt" kitchen. That's why Todd is carving a twenty pound turkey on a six inch counter. Oh joy.

A little too wild-eyed to be handling sharp objects

Stop! Stop now!

She says this is her best side. Getting a picture of Cami is like herding cats.

The day ends where it began. The ever present computer. My children, my life.

My blessings.

There is much to be grateful for, in every life. If one person loves us or treats us with kindness and dignity, we are blessed. I am thankful for all good things, and even for the things and circumstances that do not always immediately seem to fall into the category of “good.” I trust. I hope. I believe. I thank.

(Scenic photos of Memphis courtesy of Todd)

One More

Damn! I forgot the most important photo of the day. Gammy would be proud.
I cook. They clean up. All is well.

Really??

Who does this??? While working at my desk, TV muted, I glanced at the screen and saw the lovely Brooke Shields munching on a whole piece of celery. With a great big, beautiful smile on her face.

I say again--WHO DOES THIS?? I have been on 1,000,000,000 diets in my life (think deficit numbers), and have never achieved negative hunger with a single stick of celery. Add some peanut butter or Cheez Whiz and--maybe. I once did the Weight Watchers diet where you counted points. I actually figured out I could have 5 malted milk balls if I saved enough points. But, never have I chomped on celery just because it was free.

Now, carrots, I could do carrots.

Loving Sports

Okay, I totally copied this from another blog. It was anonymous, so I can't give credit to the author. But---I loved it. So, here, let me share.

"Baseball is like the human athlete. Mostly anaerobic jogging along interspersed with moments of sheer anabolic power. . . . Three hours of boredom followed by three minutes of sheer terror. But the three hours are the set up to the moments of sweaty palms, like watching a chess match unfold. If you know what’s going on in those three hours, wow. The three minutes are spine tingling.

Football is war. You advance on the enemy and run an operation. Then fall back and run the intel and assessment and run a different tactical plan at them. And another and another and another until you have to give back the ground you’ve taken. Pure power punctuated by grace and cunning and daring unlike any other sport (daring as in, how a wide receiver bares his ribs to make a catch with a 280 pound guided missile coming at him in a collision that has been calculated to be like surviving a 30 mph car crash) . . . Again, like chess, but the pieces on the board have muscular butts, can bench press Volvos and run a 4:40.

Basketball is feline king of the jungle sensuous power on display. Incredible skill to get a ball through a hoop that is 3/4 of an inch larger in diameter than the ball. And do it from 40 feet, or vertically leap eleven feet and slam it through the hoop. For over two hours. While big men are trying to take that ball away from you. . . . Doing wind sprints for two hours. With an elbow in your face, and a genetic mutant blocking your every move with hands so large they can palm a Thanksgiving turkey on the end of arms that can change a light bulb in the ceiling fixture, without a step stool."

So, what d'ya think??

Mmm-Mmm Good

I have been trying for years to convince my husband that a bowl of soup can actually be a meal.
You know, like Campbell Soup says, it's a meal you can eat with a spoon.
Husband not convinced. This is not food, he says, this is liquid. Good grief.... Every meal must have a hunk 'o meat to qualify. He got soup today because it is raining, I didn't have the desire to shop in the slop and he wanted food now! No time to thaw the crap that's in my freezer.

Now, this is a real meal!! Served these chops Sunday. Positively scrumptious! If you like pork chops, but hate that they are tough because not even pigs are allowed to have fat, you will love these. I served them with roasted new potatoes and lima beans, cooked until they surrendered.

If your significant other thinks a meal must have meat, (the kind that requires putting the hind foot on the prey and rearing back), you can find the recipe here .
(No, this is not a public service announcement.)

If I Only Had A Brain

I would dance and be merry,
Life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
(The Scarecrow: "The Wizard of Oz")

Item 1: Running errands, stop at grocery store. No need for list, I only need two items; Diet Coke and milk. Oh, looky here at the nice display. Rice Krispie Treats on sale! Talk to self. (Mom used to always tell me to "go have a talk with yourself" when I had done something, umm, unwise.) Self says, "You could make those yourself". Other self, "Yeah, but they're on sale!". Self, "Not very nutritious". Other self, "Oh, pish posh. It's breakfast cereal. Is marshmallow a dairy product? No? Well, it looks like it." So into the cart go the Treats.
A super sale! Snack Cakes, sliced French Bread. "Great idea! I'll get some spaghetti to go with it." "Oh Yumm, Krispie Kreme Doughnuts." (Clearly, Other Self won the nutrition argument.) All happily jump into my shopping cart.
Not too many items. Check self out. Get Home. Unload groceries. And, oh @#$$!!, no milk or Diet Coke. (Because they're not on sale, I suppose.) I can only deduce I left my brain in the parking lot.

Item 2: Hands hurt. Hip hurts. Neck hurts. Time for ibuprofen. Head toward medicine cabinet.
Five minutes later, "Did I take that medicine?" Can't remember. Happens all the time. Do I need to record it like I did for patients when I was a nurse?

Item 3: Get in car. Drive my usual route. Get to intersection. "Where was I going?" Ah-ha, now I remember. But I drove right past it. Several blocks ago.

I'm sure there are more---but I just can't remember....