Seek Ye First

See this precious child? (Yes, I am a photo thief.)

This child has provided a gift. Reading Rob and Angel's recent posts reminded me of what I saw while I was there, and what they have asked for in their latest endeavor.

While we were blithely living our lives, working for self-actualization, self-gratification, and self-realization; this angel, this damaged child, showed us what we really needed to do. Step back, take the focus off self and put it on others. Do that, and the rest falls into place.

I read of a well known woman, who shall go unnamed, who said a woman should do what makes her happy. Said being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing. It’s really investing and putting yourself higher on your priority list. She was teaching her daughters to do the same.

I believe this is the most selfish and egocentric example of the "me generation". Which really isn't a generation at all, but a slogan for all the excesses we feel we are entitled to.
Don't misunderstand, this is not the same thing as "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". That's an atmosphere, an environment mothers are able to create for their family.

All too often a priority on self is the way people feel they must live their lives. This attitude is so self-defeating. Here’s the seemingly contradictory truth about being human: you can get anything you want by helping other people get what they want. True joy is found only in serving others, not in serving yourself.

"Living your life for yourself is like squeezing a handful of sand: the harder you clench, the faster it slips through your fingers, leaving you with nothing. But if you open your hand up flat, you can hold that sand all day."

Made me think of this: (yes, I had to look it up. I'm no Bible scholar.)

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Don't see anything there about putting yourself above all others, do ya?

(Confession. I am not always able to do this, but I do feel guilty about it. Does that count?)

Susan's Hope

Been noodling Susan's post and "Hope" video.
Found this:

• Dismissed from drama school with a note 'wasting your time, too shy to put your best foot forward'.---Lucille Ball
• Turned down by a recording company that didn't like their sound. Saying 'guitar music is on the way out'.---The Beatles
• A failed soldier, farmer and real estate agent. At 38 years old he went to work for his father as a handyman.--Ulysses S. Grant
• Cut from the high school basketball team. He went home, locked himself in his room and cried.--Michael Jordan
• Teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. That he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personalty.--Thomas Edison
• Fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and had no original ideas.--Walt Disney
• Failed in business, had a nervous breakdown and was defeated in eight elections.--Abraham Lincoln

"If you've never failed, you've never lived. Life=Risk"

All had hope.

And this. from the author of the Narnia books:

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all of the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's "own" or "real" life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life that God is sending one day by day; what one calls one's real life is a phantom of one's own imagination. This is at least what I see at moments of insight, but it's hard to remember all the time." (The letters of C.S. Lewis to Arthur Greeves - 12/20/43)

Hard to remember there is still hope, when every day you're playing "whack-a-mole" with all life's little setbacks. Hard to accept that what you are doing today is your real life. But, that you may still hope for better things to come.

We are told to have hope. Sometimes hope is hard. But the exhortation to "never give up" is irresistible. So we hope.

And I'm still hoping my dresser gets dusted.

In Which I Air My Dirt

What Would Gammy Do??

Dust or Blog?? Blog or Dust??

Don't judge me too harshly, please. My little home is tidy (I hate clutter). My dishes always done. My beds always made.

But--dusting is just so--so--unrewarding. You grab the dust cloth or Swiffer. Dust the whole house. And what do you get?? More dust!!! Doesn't matter if you wait 3 days or 3 weeks. It's still there. Dust is eternal.

Do you thinks it's strange that my first impulse was to take a picture, not dust? I think this may require therapy.

So, I've been a little chatty this week. Ah, well.

Peace out.

Monsters In Our Midst

Speaking of monsters. Sometimes the monster in a child's life is their own parent!!

Day One:

Teacher: "Your child is throwing up. Could you please come pick him up?"

Parent: "I'm not coming for my (expletive deleted) kid."

Day Two:

Teacher: "Your child is throwing up and has a fever. He's very sick. Please come for him"

Parent: "I ain't picking up that (expletive deleted) kid. I'm in front of the judge!".

Sigh...

Pardon My Rant

Are monsters scary?? Hell, yeah! Should children be shielded from the very idea of monsters? Hell, no!

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, the Big Bad Wolf?

The Three Little Pigs is an iconic fairy tale. Sure the wolf is threatening. But the little pigs defeated the wolf, and built houses at the same time! (Even though only one of them was made strong enough to withstand the huffs and puffs of the wolf. But that's a rant for another time.)

There is a movement afoot to protect young readers and TV and movie viewers from the threat of monsters in their midst. When did our children become too fragile and dainty to be told stories with monsters.

"Monsters, Inc."--please. Cute movie, but those were not monsters. "Finding Nemo"? The shark was a neurotic creature and the monster was the dentist's child, for goodness sake. (The real moral of that story, in my view, is "just keep swimming".) Oh, don't forget Shrek. The most lovable ogre ever. And, I understand Cookie Monster has been made to eat vegetables.
Oh, I like every one of those movies. But all the monsters are cute and non-threatening.
There used to be real monsters. The witches in Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. The evil stepmother in Cindrella.

"Fairy Tales don't teach children that there are such things as monsters. Children already know that there are monsters. What Fairy Tales teach is that monsters can be killed."

I consider the de-monsterization of monsters to be a disservice to the truth of things. You know, editing all the scary stuff out of stories and nursery rhymes, and replacing it with “Mr. Floppy Bunny Goes Recycling".
To refuse to recognize monsters is not to improve the world, but to partially blind ourselves, and our children. To misunderstand human nature, and to be at a loss when confronted with evil. Not everybody is nice, nor are all endings necessarily happy.
Stories with monsters were meant to show children that there are, indeed, monsters in the world. But, also, that they were able to be slayed. That there was a protector, i.e., the fairy godmother, the knight, and when guided properly, their own parents to watch over them.

Okay, I'm done.

Old Friends

I've had a lot of friends. Everywhere I've lived, I have found fun and delightful friends. They have been with me through all the different times of my life. And there have been a lot of times!

There were the girls I hung out with during Jr. High and High School. There were the guys I spent time with during college. There were the people we met as we moved around the country for David's school and job. From Utah to California to North Carolina to Tennessee, I can claim to have been friends with the best, the most fun, the most caring people one could know.

These are some of my close and beloved friends during our years in Somerville. While our children were in school, we attended sports and band events. We played bridge and spent summers at the pool. We took vacations together. We were a group, a gathering of families that were like my own. They were my helpmates and my support. They were there for me when mom died, when I had surgeries, and when David was ill. Oh, and we had the best parties!

As often happens, most of these friendships languished as the years passed.

All except one.

My friend, Diane Butters Hill.

Diane has been my friend for over 40 years. She knows and accepts everything about me.

If you haven't had a friend like this, you're just guessing at what friendship is, gesturing toward it, assuming that it’s the right name for a feeling you’ve had.

We spent the years between high school and marriage together.

I was her maid of honor.

She was my matron of honor.

I haven't seen Diane for years and years. She lives near Denver and I, well, I don't live anywhere near Denver.

But, despite the distance and years, we have remained the very best of friends.

Even if we don't talk for months, it's like no time has passed at all. Even before the convenience of email and the Internet; when there was only the telephone, she was there.

Just there. No judgement, no complaint. Just there.

I'd like to think I was there for her too.

Earrings--Again

Do these earrings make me look---thin???


I jest, of course. Nothing is that simple. But, these are the first earrings I have worn since that infamous day in 2002. I have not worn any jewelry for 7 years. I mean, what was the point really.

So about 6 weeks ago I went for a hair trim and ended up with hair shorter that my husbands. Yikes!! The solution? Earrings. But, when I tried to put some lovely old earrings in, I discovered there was nothing there. I had my ears pierced about 40 (good grief) years ago and those suckers finally closed up. So, off to the mall with the rest of the toddlers for a fresh pierce. Ouch!?! Finally the time came to replace the studs with real earrings and, voila, a whole new me. (snort).

Oh, have you ever tried to take a picture of yourself, in the mirror, trying to keep the camera out of the picture and smile at the same time? Well, this photo is the result. But I think you get the picture. (oh man, I crack myself up)

Do You Cook??

If you cook, even occasionally, do this one thing. Go directly to this website. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. No, she is not a Mormon pioneer, but a ranch wife in Oklahoma. This is not your mothers cookbook. Great recipes with a wicked sense of humor--and--pictures.
I won't bore you with more, but I don't even cook much any more and I spent three (3!!) hours there.

Go on. Why are you still here?

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/